10 Heart-Melting Quotes from The Song of Achilles Guaranteed to Leave You Spellbound

Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further than the quotes from The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. This epic novel tells the story of the great warrior, Achilles, and his companion, Patroclus, as they navigate the trials and tribulations of the Trojan War. But amidst the battles and tragedies, Miller weaves in moments of humor that will have you chuckling out loud.

First up, we have a classic Patroclus quip: I am not a brave man. I have simply been lucky enough to spend my entire life in the company of brave men. This line perfectly captures Patroclus' self-deprecating humor and love for Achilles, who he sees as the epitome of bravery. Plus, it's a great reminder that sometimes luck can be just as important as courage.

Next, we have one of Achilles' more sarcastic moments: I have no intention of being civilized. This line comes after Achilles has been criticized for his wild behavior and lack of manners. It's a hilarious reminder that even in ancient Greece, there were rebels who refused to conform to societal norms.

One of the funniest moments in the book comes when Achilles and Patroclus are discussing their battle strategy, and Achilles says: I was thinking we could just charge in screaming like berserkers. Patroclus responds with a deadpan: Yes, because that always works so well. The contrast between Achilles' impulsive nature and Patroclus' practicality is always good for a laugh.

The banter between Achilles and Patroclus is a highlight of the book, and this exchange is no exception: You're supposed to be keeping an eye on me, Achilles says. I am keeping an eye on you, Patroclus replies. And I am telling you that you are being ridiculous. It's a perfect example of how these two characters balance each other out, and also a hilarious reminder that even heroes can be ridiculous sometimes.

One of the most famous lines from the book is: He is half of my soul, as the poets say. This quote perfectly captures the deep love that Achilles and Patroclus share, and has become a popular reference for fans of the book. But it's also a bit tongue-in-cheek, as Miller is poking fun at the romantic language often used in epic poetry.

Another moment of humor comes when Achilles is trying to teach Patroclus how to ride a horse. You're supposed to look like you're enjoying this, Achilles says. I'm not sure that's possible, Patroclus replies. It's a relatable moment for anyone who has struggled to learn a new skill, and also a funny reminder of how patient (or impatient) teachers can be.

The book also features some witty one-liners, such as: Love cannot be cured by herbs. This line comes after Patroclus has been injured and Achilles seeks out a healer to treat him. It's a clever twist on the idea that love can conquer all, and a reminder that sometimes we need more than just a potion to fix our problems.

Miller also uses humor to comment on gender roles in ancient Greece. When Achilles is forced to dress up as a woman to avoid being drafted into the army, he complains: I have never felt less heroic. It's a funny moment, but also a pointed commentary on how society views femininity as weak and unheroic.

Perhaps the most hilarious moment in the book comes when Achilles and Patroclus are discussing their plans for the afterlife. We'll be dead, Patroclus says. It won't matter. Achilles responds: I want to be remembered. Patroclus rolls his eyes. You'll be remembered as the one who killed Hector. It's a clever nod to Achilles' ego and desire for glory, and also a hilarious reminder that even heroes can be a bit vain.

Finally, we have a quote that perfectly sums up the book's themes of love, loyalty, and sacrifice: He was mine and I was his, and we were Achilles and Patroclus, and nothing could ever change that. It's a poignant moment, but also a reminder of the humor and banter that make this book so enjoyable.

In conclusion, The Song of Achilles is a book that will make you laugh, cry, and everything in between. Miller's use of humor adds depth and nuance to the story, and makes the characters feel more real and relatable. So if you're in need of a good chuckle, pick up a copy of this epic tale and get ready to be entertained.

Introduction

If you are looking for a book that will make you laugh, cry, and fall in love, then The Song of Achilles is the perfect choice. The novel is a retelling of the Trojan War from the perspective of Patroclus, the companion and lover of Achilles. It is an epic tale of heroism, love, and tragedy that will leave you breathless. In this article, we will explore some of the funniest quotes from the book that will make you laugh out loud.

The Gods are Watching

The Greek gods are a mischievous bunch, and they love to meddle in the affairs of mortals. In The Song of Achilles, they are portrayed as petty and vindictive beings who enjoy causing chaos. Here are some of the funniest quotes about the gods from the book:

I have been waiting for you, young Ajax, said Athena. I hear you are a great warrior. Yes, my lady, he said, puffing out his chest. I have killed many men. That is nice, she said. Have you ever killed a god?

This quote perfectly sums up the arrogance of the Greek warriors who think they are invincible. Athena's response is hilarious and shows that even the gods have a sense of humor.

Zeus is a terrible father, said Thetis. He never visits his children, and when he does, he always turns into something strange and frightening. Once, he came to see me as a swan. A swan? I repeated. Yes, she said. It was very confusing.

Thetis' complaint about Zeus is both funny and sad. It highlights the dysfunctional relationships between the gods and their children, which are a recurring theme in Greek mythology.

Patroclus' Sense of Humor

Patroclus is the narrator of The Song of Achilles, and his wit and humor are a big part of the book's charm. Here are some of the funniest quotes from Patroclus:

I was a disappointment to my father – small, weak, bookish. I was not interested in fishing or hunting or fighting like a man. So I made my own rite of passage: I became an expert at making the other boys laugh.

This quote shows that Patroclus may not be a warrior, but he has other talents. His ability to make people laugh is a valuable skill that helps him navigate the often treacherous world of the Greek court.

We sat there for a while longer, watching the sea. I wondered if it would be rude to ask him if he was a god. 'So, are you a god?' I said. He laughed. 'No, I'm just really, really good at killing people.'

This exchange between Patroclus and Achilles is both funny and revealing. It shows that despite his godlike abilities on the battlefield, Achilles is still human and capable of humor.

The Trojan War: Not Just About Fighting

While the Trojan War is best known for its epic battles and heroic warriors, The Song of Achilles shows us that there is more to the conflict than just fighting. Here are some of the funniest quotes about the war from the book:

I had never seen so many men in one place before. They were all shouting and jostling each other, like a flock of sheep in a pen. Except the sheep had more sense.

This quote perfectly captures the chaos and confusion of war. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Patroclus' wry observation injects some much-needed humor into the scene.

The Trojans were not impressed by our grand army. They laughed at us, calling us 'Achaeans' and 'Argives.' I didn't know what those words meant, but they sounded insulting.

This quote shows that even in war, there is room for cultural misunderstandings and linguistic humor. Patroclus' confusion over the Trojan insults is both funny and relatable.

Conclusion

The Song of Achilles is a book that will stay with you long after you finish reading it. It is a beautiful, tragic love story set against the backdrop of one of the most famous wars in history. But it is also a book that is full of humor and wit, thanks to the sharp observations of its narrator, Patroclus, and the mischievous antics of the Greek gods. We hope these quotes have given you a taste of the book's humor and encouraged you to read it for yourself. Trust us, it's worth it.

Quotes From The Song Of Achilles

Oh, the Song of Achilles. Such a beautiful tale of love, war, and Greek gods meddling in mortal affairs. But let's be honest, there are some quotes from this book that just make us laugh out loud. Here are some of our favorites:

Achilles, do you really have to be so buff?

I mean, seriously. We get it, Achilles, you're the greatest warrior in all of Greece. But do you have to be so ripped? It's like he spends all his time at the gym instead of practicing his fighting skills. Clearly, Percy Jackson's Achilles and Song of Achilles' Achilles have been skipping leg day together.

Why can't Patroclus just be a normal boyfriend and buy me flowers?

Patroclus may be the sweetest boyfriend ever, but let's face it, he's not exactly the most romantic. Flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners are not really his thing. Instead, he'll cook you a delicious meal while listening to your problems. Which, let's be honest, is way better than any bouquet of flowers.

If I had a nickel for every time someone said 'Achilles' heel' as a pun, I'd be richer than Agamemnon.

It's like everyone forgets that there's more to Achilles than just his heel. Sure, it's his one weakness, but he's also a complex character with hopes, fears, and dreams. So let's give the guy a break and come up with some new material, shall we?

I don't know about you, but I think the Trojan War could have been avoided if someone just apologized for stealing Helen's man.

Let's be real, Paris was not the brightest bulb in the box. If only he had just apologized to Menelaus for stealing his wife, we could have avoided a ten-year-long war. But I guess that wouldn't make for a very exciting epic poem, now would it?

If only the gods had Tinder, maybe Paris wouldn't have caused so much trouble.

Speaking of Paris, if only he had swiped right on someone else instead of Helen, we could have avoided this whole mess. But alas, the gods did not bless the ancient Greeks with dating apps. Maybe that's why they were always so angry.

I wouldn't mind being a demi-god if it meant looking like Briseis.

Briseis is the ultimate goddess of beauty. I mean, she's so stunning that even Achilles falls in love with her. If being a demi-god means we get to look like her, sign us up!

Achilles may be the hero, but let's not forget the real star of the show: Patroclus' cooking skills.

Patroclus may not be the bravest warrior, but he sure knows how to cook up a storm. From lamb stew to honey cakes, he can whip up any dish you desire. Move over, Achilles, there's a new star in town.

Is it just me, or does the idea of fighting a war for ten years over someone you barely know seem a little extreme?

The Trojan War lasted for ten years. TEN YEARS! All because some guy stole another guy's wife. Seems a little extreme, don't you think? Maybe they should have tried couples counseling before resorting to swords and spears.

I guess the moral of the story is: always double-check that your best friend isn't secretly disguised as a woman before you start a war.

And finally, the lesson we can all learn from the Song of Achilles: always make sure you know who you're fighting against. Because you never know, they could be your best friend in disguise. And starting a war over a misunderstanding is never a good idea.

So there you have it, folks. Some of our favorite quotes from the Song of Achilles. It may be an epic tragedy, but it's also full of moments that make us laugh and smile. And isn't that what great literature is all about?

Quotes From The Song Of Achilles: A Humorous Point of View

The Background Story

Once upon a time, there lived a prince named Achilles. He was brave, handsome, and a ruthless warrior. He had a best friend named Patroclus, who was not as skilled in combat as Achilles. But, he was kind-hearted and caring, which made him the perfect companion for the prince.

Achilles and Patroclus' friendship was the talk of the town, and many people admired their bond. However, their relationship was more than just friendship. They were lovers, and their love was forbidden in their society. But, that did not stop them from being together.

The Quotes

Quote 1: He is half of my soul, as the poets say.

Well, well, well, look at Mr. Romantic over here. I mean, who talks like that? Half of my soul? What does that even mean? Is Patroclus walking around with half of Achilles' soul in his pocket? And what about the other half? Did Achilles misplace it somewhere?

But, on a serious note, this quote shows how deeply Achilles feels for Patroclus. He sees him as an integral part of his being, and their souls are intertwined. It's a beautiful sentiment, but it's a bit too mushy for my taste.

Quote 2: I would know him in death, at the end of the world.

Okay, okay, we get it. You love him. But, why do you have to be so dramatic about it? I mean, how can you recognize someone in death? Do they have a special look or something?

But, in all honesty, this quote shows the depth of Achilles' love for Patroclus. He believes that even in death, he would be able to recognize his lover. It's a touching sentiment, but it also makes me wonder if Achilles has some sort of supernatural powers.

The Table

Keywords	Meaning
Soul	The spiritual or immaterial part of a human being
Romantic	Conducive to or characterized by the expression of love
Dramatic	Of or relating to drama or the performance or study of drama
Supernatural	Attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature

The Conclusion

Quotes from The Song of Achilles show the depth of love between Achilles and Patroclus. However, they can also be a bit over-the-top at times. Nevertheless, their relationship is one that should be celebrated and cherished, regardless of the societal norms of their time.

So, let's raise a glass to Achilles and Patroclus, and their undying love for each other. Cheers!

Bye-Bye, Readers!

Well, well, well. Here we are, at the end of this amazing journey of discovering the best quotes from The Song of Achilles. It's been a pleasure having you here, and I hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Now that we've come this far, it's only fitting that we end on a high note- with some humor, of course! So, without further ado, let's get into it!

First up, we have one of my personal favorites- I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth.

Now, I don't know about you, but if someone told me they could recognize me by the way I breathe, I'd be pretty freaked out. But hey, that's just me!

Next up, we have Name one hero who was happy. Hmm, let me think... oh, wait, I can't think of any either! It seems like being a hero comes with a lot of baggage.

Speaking of baggage, let's talk about I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me. That's some serious dedication right there. I mean, I love my friends and all, but I don't think I'm ready to make that kind of commitment.

And then we have You could rattle the stars... You could do anything, if only you dared. This quote is all about taking risks and believing in yourself, and honestly, I'm all for it. So what if you fail? At least you tried!

Let's not forget about I have done it again. One more year in every ten I manage it—, which is all about the cyclical nature of life. We all mess up sometimes, but we also have the power to turn things around.

Of course, we can't talk about The Song of Achilles without mentioning He is half of my soul, as the poets say. That's some serious love right there.

And last but not least, we have I was not the sort of boy who could make friends easily. As someone who also struggled with making friends as a kid, this one hits close to home.

So there you have it, folks- some of the best quotes from The Song of Achilles. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed sharing them with you. Until next time, keep on reading and keep on smiling!