Cotton Hill Quotes: Hilarious and Memorable Lines from the Iconic King of the Hill Character

When it comes to iconic and hilarious quotes from animated television shows, few characters are as memorable as Cotton Hill. The no-nonsense and unapologetic war veteran from the hit series King of the Hill has left audiences in stitches with his biting wit and humorous one-liners. From his constant insults towards his son Hank to his hilarious anecdotes about his time in the military, Cotton Hill's quotes have become a staple of pop culture. So, sit back and prepare to laugh out loud as we dive into some of the best quotes from the one and only Cotton Hill.

One of the things that makes Cotton Hill's quotes so memorable is his ability to turn any situation into a comedic goldmine. Whether he's discussing his time in World War II or simply making fun of his family, Cotton always manages to find a way to make us laugh. For instance, in one episode, he hilariously declares, I killed fitty men! when talking about his time in the army. It's this kind of over-the-top humor that makes Cotton such a lovable character.

Another aspect of Cotton Hill's humor that draws audiences in is his blunt and unapologetic nature. He never shies away from speaking his mind, even if it's not politically correct or socially acceptable. In one episode, Hank asks his father why he never showed him any affection growing up, to which Cotton responds, Affection? That's for daddies and faggots. It's a shocking line, but delivered in such a matter-of-fact way that it's impossible not to laugh.

Of course, Cotton Hill's insults towards his son Hank are some of the most memorable quotes from the series. From calling him a dang ol' softie to mocking his job as a propane salesman, Cotton never misses an opportunity to put down his son. In one episode, he even tells Hank, Boy, I'll tell you what, you ain't right in the head after Hank refuses to help him with a task. It's these kinds of insults that make Cotton and Hank's relationship so entertaining to watch.

Despite all of his humor and bravado, Cotton Hill is also a character with a lot of heart. He may be rough around the edges, but he truly loves his family and will do anything to protect them. In one episode, he even risks his own life to save his grandson Bobby from drowning. It's moments like this that remind us that there's more to Cotton than just his hilarious quotes.

Overall, Cotton Hill's quotes have become a beloved part of pop culture. With his biting wit, unapologetic nature, and over-the-top humor, he's left an indelible mark on audiences everywhere. So, whether you're a die-hard fan of King of the Hill or just looking for a good laugh, take a moment to appreciate some of the best quotes from the one and only Cotton Hill.

Introduction

Cotton Hill, a character from the popular animated TV show King of the Hill, is known for his hilarious one-liners and memorable quotes. His gruff voice and brash personality make him a fan favorite, and his quotes have become iconic in pop culture.

Early Life

Cotton Hill was born in Texas in 1927 and grew up during the Great Depression. He served in World War II, where he lost his shins to a Japanese machine gun and later became the oldest living recipient of the Medal of Honor. Cotton's war experiences shaped his personality, and his quotes reflect his tough, no-nonsense attitude.

Family Life

Cotton had a strained relationship with his son, Hank, throughout the series, often criticizing him for being soft and not living up to his expectations. Cotton also had a rocky relationship with his ex-wife, Tilly, who suffered from mental illness. In typical Cotton fashion, he once jokingly referred to her as a loon and a crazy lady.

Work Life

Cotton worked at Strickland Propane for many years, where he was known for his work ethic and his unconventional methods. He once famously said, I don't believe in brakes. If I wanted to slow down, I'd take my foot off the gas. Cotton's quotes about work reflect his no-nonsense approach and his belief in hard work.

Politics

Cotton was a proud conservative and often expressed his views on politics. He once said, I don't need some fancy politician to tell me how to live my life. I'm an American, dammit! Cotton's quotes about politics are both humorous and reflective of his patriotic beliefs.

Health Issues

Cotton's war injuries left him with a number of health issues, including chronic pain and difficulty walking. He often complained about his ailments, but never let them slow him down. In typical Cotton fashion, he once said, I may not have legs, but I've still got my pride!

Relationships

Cotton had a number of romantic relationships throughout the series, including a brief fling with Peggy Hill's mother. He once famously said, I've been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean. Cotton's quotes about relationships are both humorous and reflective of his wild past.

Fatherhood

Cotton's relationship with Hank was a central theme throughout the series, and his quotes about fatherhood are both hilarious and poignant. He once said, I may have lost my shins, but I gained a son. And I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

Legacy

Cotton Hill passed away in the final season of King of the Hill, but his quotes and one-liners live on. His tough, no-nonsense attitude and hilarious quips have made him an iconic character in pop culture. As Cotton would say, You can take the man out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the man!

Conclusion

Cotton Hill's quotes are a testament to the character's unique personality and sense of humor. Whether he was talking about politics, relationships, or work, Cotton always had a witty comeback or memorable one-liner. His legacy lives on, and his quotes continue to make us laugh and reflect on life.

Cotton Hill Quotes

When it comes to the legendary character Cotton Hill from King of the Hill, his quotes are as iconic as his personality. From his war stories to his proclamations about life, Cotton has a way with words that never fails to entertain. So, let's take a look at some of his most memorable quotes that will leave you laughing out loud.

I'll tell you what, if there's one thing I hate more than lying, it's skim milk... which is water lying about being milk.

Cotton Hill is a man who knows what he wants, and he won't settle for anything less. And when it comes to his milk, he's not messing around. He knows that skim milk is nothing but lies, and he's not afraid to say it. After all, why drink water pretending to be milk when you can have the real thing?

I may have lost my shins in the war, but I still have my sense of humor... and my propane.

Cotton may have lost his legs in the war, but that hasn't stopped him from living life to the fullest. He's got his sense of humor and his beloved propane, and that's all he needs to keep going. Plus, with a personality as big as his, it's hard to even notice that he's missing a few body parts.

I don't always vote Republican, but when I do, I prefer to do it in the nude.

Cotton may be a proud Republican, but that doesn't mean he's not willing to have a little fun. In fact, he's willing to go all out and cast his vote in the nude. Hey, whatever gets the job done, right?

If brains were dynamite, Hank, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

Cotton is never one to hold back when it comes to insulting his son, Hank. And this particular insult is a classic. It's not just that Hank isn't the brightest bulb in the box, it's that he's so far from it that he couldn't even blow his nose if he had dynamite for brains. Ouch.

The only thing dumber than a dumb person is a smart person trying to sound dumb.

Cotton may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knows better than to try and pretend otherwise. He's not afraid to own who he is, and he's not impressed by anyone who tries to act dumber than they actually are. After all, there's no need to try and be something you're not.

I haven't felt this queasy since I went on that 'It's a Small World' ride at Disneyland. Those animatronic dolls were giving me the heebie-jeebies.

Even a tough guy like Cotton has his limits, and apparently, it's animatronic dolls that do him in. His experience on the 'It's a Small World' ride at Disneyland left him feeling queasy and uneasy. Who knew that those cute little dolls could be so creepy?

You know what they say, Hank. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose... unless you're into that sort of thing.

Cotton may not have the most refined sense of humor, but he sure knows how to make people laugh. And when it comes to picking noses, he's got some sage advice. While you may be able to pick your own nose, it's probably best to leave your friend's nose alone... unless, of course, you're both into that sort of thing.

I'm not saying I'm indestructible, but I once survived a whole weekend with Peggy and Bobby without even once reaching for the propane or the booze.

Cotton may be tough, but even he has his limits. And surviving a weekend with Peggy and Bobby without any propane or booze is quite the feat. But then again, when you've been through war, anything else seems like a walk in the park.

If I had a nickel for every time I've been called a war hero, I'd have enough money to buy a new set of shins.

Cotton may not be one to brag about his war hero status, but that doesn't mean he hasn't earned it. And if he had a nickel for every time someone called him a hero, he'd be rich enough to buy himself a new set of shins. Maybe then he wouldn't have to rely on his sense of humor to get by.

I'm not old, Hank. I'm just chronologically gifted.

Cotton may be getting up there in years, but that doesn't mean he's ready to slow down. In fact, he sees his age as a gift, one that allows him to do and say whatever he wants without consequence. And really, who can argue with that?

In conclusion, Cotton Hill may be rough around the edges, but his quotes are pure gold. From his humorous takes on life to his insults directed at his son, Hank, Cotton always knows how to make us laugh. So, let's raise a glass of propane to this iconic character and all the laughs he's brought us over the years.

The Hilarious Wisdom of Cotton Hill Quotes

The Legend of Cotton Hill

Cotton Hill, the beloved and infamous character from the animated TV series King of the Hill, was a war veteran who had lost his shins in combat. He was known for his gruff demeanor and outrageous quotes that left audiences in stitches.

Despite his rough exterior, Cotton Hill had a unique way of expressing himself that endeared him to fans. His words were often laced with humor, sarcasm, and a healthy dose of irreverence.

The Best of Cotton Hill Quotes

Here are some of the most memorable quotes from Cotton Hill:

I killed fitty men.
That boy ain't right.
If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair.
That's my purse! I don't know you!
This is why you don't trust no one. They see you coming and they think, 'How can I take advantage of this guy?'

These quotes demonstrate Cotton Hill's unique style of humor that was both outrageous and relatable. His words often struck a chord with viewers who appreciated his unfiltered honesty and willingness to speak his mind.

The Legacy of Cotton Hill

Cotton Hill may have been a fictional character, but his impact on popular culture cannot be overstated. His hilarious quotes continue to be shared and enjoyed by fans around the world.

In many ways, Cotton Hill represents the quintessential American hero - tough, irreverent, and unapologetically himself. His words remind us that sometimes the best way to deal with life's challenges is to laugh in their face and keep moving forward.

In Conclusion

Cotton Hill may be gone, but his spirit lives on through his unforgettable quotes. Whether you're feeling down or just need a good laugh, take a page out of Cotton's book and let his words lift you up. After all, as he famously said, I'm not dead, I'm just in a wheelchair.

Table: Keywords

Keyword	Definition
Cotton Hill	A character from the animated TV series King of the Hill known for his gruff demeanor and hilarious quotes.
Humorous voice and tone	The use of language and delivery that is intended to be funny and lighthearted.
Point of view	The perspective from which a story or piece of writing is told.
Quotes	Words or phrases that are taken directly from a source and repeated or quoted by someone else.

Cotton Hill Quotes: The Funniest and Most Memorable Lines from King of the Hill's Iconic Character

Well, folks, it's time to wrap up this little trip down memory lane with Cotton Hill. We hope you've enjoyed revisiting some of the funniest moments and most memorable lines from this iconic character on King of the Hill. Whether you're a die-hard fan of the show or just looking for a good laugh, we hope you've found what you were looking for!

Before we say our final goodbyes, let's take a moment to appreciate just how hilarious Cotton was throughout the series. From his gruff voice to his outrageous behavior, he never failed to make us laugh. And while some may argue that he was a bit too over-the-top at times, there's no denying that he was an integral part of what made King of the Hill so beloved by fans all over the world.

So, without further ado, here are some of the best Cotton Hill quotes that we'll always remember:

That boy ain't right.

Let's start with the most iconic line of them all. Whenever Hank would talk about his son Bobby, Cotton would inevitably chime in with this classic catchphrase. It became so popular that it even spawned its own t-shirt!

I killed fitty men.

Cotton loved to brag about his war stories, and this line was one of his favorites. Of course, the truth was always a bit more complicated than that, but that didn't stop him from exaggerating.

I'm as healthy as a horse, you dumb sumbitch!

Cotton's insults were always colorful, but this one takes the cake. He wasn't afraid to call people out on their stupidity, even if it meant insulting them in the process.

That's my purse! I don't know you!

This line has become a meme in its own right, and for good reason. Cotton's reaction to being attacked by a bully is so absurd that it's hard not to laugh.

I may be a narrow-minded, bigoted, hatchet-faced old man, but I'm no fool.

Cotton was never one to mince words, and this quote is a perfect example of that. He knew exactly who he was, flaws and all, but he was still confident in his own abilities.

Why would anyone wanna watch TV on a tiny screen when they could have a big one?

Cotton was never one for modern technology, and this line perfectly sums up his attitude towards it. He was a man of simple pleasures, and he didn't see the appeal of fancy gadgets.

If the Japanese wanna fight, they can fight me! But they'll have to learn a few things first: like how to aim.

As we mentioned earlier, Cotton loved to brag about his war stories. But he also had some pretty outdated views on the world, as evidenced by this quote.

I don't need no dang ol' hearing aid!

Cotton was fiercely independent, and he refused to let anything slow him down. Even if it meant pretending he could hear just fine.

What in the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he's white?

Another example of Cotton's outdated views on the world. He was a product of his time, and he wasn't always willing to change with the times.

I can't hear you, I don't speak Spanish!

Cotton's ignorance could be frustrating at times, but it was also often hilarious. This line is a perfect example of that.

And there you have it, folks! Some of the funniest and most memorable Cotton Hill quotes from King of the Hill. We hope you've enjoyed this trip down memory lane, and we'll see you next time!