Discover The Most Powerful Quotes From Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God - A Timeless Sermon That Still Resonates Today!

...

Are you ready to be taken on a journey of fiery brimstone and eternal damnation? Then look no further than Jonathan Edwards' famous sermon, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. In this piece, Edwards spares no expense in painting a vivid portrait of God's wrath and the terrifying fate that awaits those who stray from His righteous path. But don't be fooled by the severity of his message - Edwards' use of colorful language and clever analogies will keep you engaged from start to finish.

As Edwards begins his sermon, he wastes no time in setting the tone for what's to come. The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, he declares. With just a few short words, Edwards makes it clear that his audience is in for a harrowing ride. But he doesn't stop there - throughout the sermon, he peppers in humorous similes and metaphors that are sure to elicit a chuckle or two.

Take, for example, his description of sinners as the objects of divine wrath and fury who are held in the hand of that God whose wrath is provoked and incensed as much against them as against many of the damned in hell. It's a mouthful, to be sure, but the image of a hapless sinner being held like a bug in God's angry grip is too absurd not to be comical.

Of course, the humor is just one aspect of Edwards' sermon that makes it so enduringly captivating. His use of vivid, almost cinematic language is also a major draw. When he describes the fires of hell as fierce and infinite, for instance, you can practically feel the heat licking at your skin. And when he warns that the bow of God's wrath is bent, and the arrow made ready on the string, you can almost hear the twang of the deadly weapon as it's released.

But as much as Edwards' sermon is a showcase of his literary prowess, it's also a stern warning to his listeners. He doesn't shy away from the harsh realities of sin and its consequences, and he makes it clear that no one is immune to God's wrath. There is nothing that keeps wicked men at any one moment out of hell, but the mere pleasure of God, he warns. It's a sobering thought, but one that Edwards believes is necessary to drive home his message.

Throughout the sermon, Edwards returns again and again to the central theme of God's anger towards sinners. But he also offers a glimmer of hope for those who are willing to turn from their sinful ways. God has laid himself under no obligation, by any promise, to keep any natural man out of hell one moment, he says. But you have this opportunity with which you may escape. It's a small ray of light in an otherwise bleak landscape, but for those who are truly listening, it could be a lifeline.

As Edwards brings his sermon to a close, he leaves his audience with a final warning. Let everyone that is out of Christ, now awake and fly from the wrath to come, he implores. The wrath of Almighty God is now undoubtedly hanging over a great part of this congregation. It's a chilling note to end on, but one that drives home the gravity of what he's been saying all along.

In the end, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is much more than just a religious text - it's a masterclass in persuasive writing. Whether you're a believer or not, there's no denying the power of Edwards' words and the impact they've had on generations of readers. So if you're looking for a sermon that will make you laugh, cry, and shake in your boots all at once, look no further than this timeless classic.


Introduction

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is a sermon by Jonathan Edwards that is considered one of the most famous sermons in American history. It is also one of the most terrifying pieces of literature ever written. However, when reading this sermon, it is hard not to find some humor in it. Here are some quotes from Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God that will make you laugh out loud.

The Wrath of God

The wrath of God is like great waters that are dammed for the present; they increase more and more, and rise higher and higher, till an outlet is given. The longer the stream is stopped, the more rapid and mighty is its course when once it is let loose.

What's funny about this?

It's funny because it's like Edwards is describing a dam breaking and flooding a city, instead of the wrath of an angry God.

The Wickedness of Man

Your wickedness makes you as it were heavy as lead, and to tend downwards with great weight and pressure towards hell; and if God should let you go, you would immediately sink and swiftly descend and plunge into the bottomless gulf, and your healthy constitution, and your own care and prudence, and best contrivance, and all your righteousness, would have no more influence to uphold you and keep you out of hell, than a spider’s web would have to stop a falling rock.

What's funny about this?

It's funny because Edwards is comparing the weight of man's wickedness to that of a heavy metal, and then goes on to say that all of man's efforts to save himself are useless. It's like he's saying we're all doomed, so why even try?

God's Power

The bow of God's wrath is bent, and the arrow made ready on the string, and justice bends the arrow at your heart, and strains the bow, and it is nothing but the mere pleasure of God, and that of an angry God, without any promise or obligation at all, that keeps the arrow one moment from being made drunk with your blood.

What's funny about this?

It's funny because Edwards is describing God as an archer who is about to shoot an arrow at sinners. It's like a cartoonish image of God with a bow and arrow, ready to strike down anyone who displeases him.

The Torments of Hell

There will be no end to this exquisite horrible misery. When you look forward, you shall see a long forever, a boundless duration before you, which will swallow up your thoughts, and amaze your soul; and you will absolutely despair of ever having any deliverance, any end, any mitigation, any rest at all.

What's funny about this?

It's funny because Edwards is describing the torments of hell in such a way that it almost sounds like he's trying to sell a timeshare in a horrible vacation spot. You'll absolutely despair of ever having any deliverance, any end, any mitigation, any rest at all. But wait, there's more!

The Mercy of God

The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.

What's funny about this?

It's funny because Edwards is describing God holding sinners over the pit of hell like they're insects. It's like he's saying that God is just toying with us before he throws us into the fire.

The Importance of Repentance

Therefore let everyone that is out of Christ, now awake and fly from the wrath to come. The wrath of Almighty God is now undoubtedly hanging over a great part of this congregation. Let everyone fly out of Sodom: 'Haste and escape for your lives, look not behind you, escape to the mountain, lest you be consumed.'

What's funny about this?

It's funny because Edwards is telling sinners to fly out of Sodom, which is a reference to the biblical story of Lot fleeing from the city of Sodom before it is destroyed. It's like he's saying that sinners need to get out of town before God destroys everything.

The Fate of Unbelievers

The unbelieving Jews were cut off from their own olive tree, and Gentiles were grafted in their stead; Rom. xi. 20, and 21, &c. So that if you are out of Christ, you have no share in the benefits of the covenant of grace, no promise of assistance in the time of trouble, no assurance of deliverance in the hour of death, no hope of eternal life, nothing to support you, nothing to comfort you, nothing to give you any prospect of peace or happiness in the world to come.

What's funny about this?

It's funny because Edwards is basically saying that if you're not a believer in Christ, you're screwed. It's like he's saying that there's no hope for anyone who doesn't believe in his version of Christianity.

The Power of God

The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.

What's funny about this?

It's funny because Edwards is describing God holding sinners over the pit of hell like they're insects. It's like he's saying that God is just toying with us before he throws us into the fire.

The Hope of Believers

The godly enjoy greater peace and tranquility in their souls in this world, than the wicked do in the midst of all their outward prosperity.

What's funny about this?

It's funny because Edwards is saying that believers have more peace and tranquility in their souls than the wicked do in the midst of all their outward prosperity. It's like he's saying that the wicked may be rich and successful, but at least believers have inner peace.

The Conclusion

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God may be a terrifying sermon, but it's also full of unintentional humor. Edwards' descriptions of God's wrath and the torments of hell are so over-the-top that they almost become cartoonish. However, it's important to remember that this sermon was meant to scare people into repentance, and for many people, it was successful. So while we may laugh at some of the language used in Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, we should also remember the serious message behind it.


Puritans Beware: Meet America's Most Intense Preacher

When you think of preachers, what comes to mind? Maybe a soft-spoken, kind-hearted man with a gentle smile? Well, prepare to meet America's most intense preacher, Jonathan Edwards. This guy could make your ears bleed with his fiery sermons, and he wasn't afraid to tell it like it is. He believed that sinners were headed straight for hell, and he wasn't going to sugarcoat it for anybody.

Hellfire and Brimstone: The Sermon That Shocked a Nation

In 1741, Edwards delivered the sermon that would come to be known as Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. Let me tell you, this was not your average Sunday morning message. Edwards preached with such fervor and intensity that people were literally trembling in their seats. He described God's wrath in vivid detail, warning sinners that they were hanging by a thread over the pit of hell. Talk about a wake-up call!

Prepare to Tremble: This Sermon Will Make Your Knees Shake

If you're looking for a feel-good message, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is not for you. But if you want to experience true fear and trembling, this sermon is a must-listen. Edwards pulled no punches when it came to describing the horrors of hell, and he didn't shy away from telling his listeners that they were in grave danger. But he didn't leave them without hope - he also preached the message of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. So if you're feeling brave, give this one a listen.

Sinners Unite: One Preacher's Quest to Save Your Soul

Edwards wasn't trying to scare people just for the sake of it. He believed that his message could literally save their souls from eternal damnation. He saw himself as a messenger of God, called to warn sinners of the consequences of their actions. And he wasn't alone - many other preachers of his time preached similar messages. So if you're feeling like a sinner in need of redemption, you might find comfort in knowing that you're not alone.

Things You Should Know Before Going to Church: The Scary Truth

If you're planning on attending church anytime soon, there are a few things you should know. First of all, don't expect a feel-good message. Many preachers, like Edwards, believe that it's their duty to warn people of the dangers of sin and hell. And they're not going to sugarcoat it for you. Secondly, be prepared to be challenged. Preachers like Edwards don't want their listeners to just sit back and relax - they want them to think deeply about their faith and their lives. So if you're ready for a challenge, go ahead and take a seat in the pew.

The Most Terrifying Sermon Ever Preached: Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God

I don't know about you, but when I think of terrifying sermons, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is the first thing that comes to mind. Edwards' vivid descriptions of hell and God's wrath are enough to make even the bravest soul tremble. But what makes this sermon truly terrifying is the fact that it's based on truth - according to Edwards, we really are sinners in need of redemption. So if you're looking for a spine-chilling sermon, look no further than Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.

Fire and Fury: How One Preacher's Message Ignited a Revolution

Edwards' message may have been scary, but it was also powerful. His sermons sparked a religious revival known as the Great Awakening, which swept across America in the 1700s. People were hungry for the truth, and Edwards' message resonated with them. He helped to bring many people to faith in Jesus Christ, and his influence can still be felt today. So if you're looking for a preacher who's not afraid to speak the truth, look no further than Jonathan Edwards.

A Hellish Tale: What One Sermon Had to Say About Sin and Redemption

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God may be a scary sermon, but it's also a powerful one. Edwards' message is all about sin and redemption - he believes that we are all sinners in need of God's grace. But he doesn't stop there - he also preaches the message of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. So while the sermon may be hellish in its descriptions of God's wrath, it ultimately points the way to redemption and hope.

The Ultimate Wake-Up Call: The Spine-Chilling Words of a Puritan Preacher

If you're feeling complacent in your faith, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is the ultimate wake-up call. Edwards' message is a stark reminder that we are all sinners in need of God's grace. But it's not just a message of doom and gloom - it's also a message of hope. Edwards believes that through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be saved from God's wrath and find eternal life. So if you're ready to be shaken out of your complacency, give this sermon a listen.

Sinners Rejoice! Your Redemption Awaits in This Scary Sermon

Okay, I know what you're thinking - rejoice and scary don't really go together. But hear me out. Edwards' message may be scary, but it also offers hope. He believes that through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be saved from God's wrath and find eternal life. So while the sermon may be spine-chilling in its descriptions of hell and damnation, it ultimately points the way to redemption and salvation. So if you're feeling like a sinner in need of grace, rejoice - your redemption awaits in this scary sermon.


Quotes From Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God

A Humorous Point of View

As a robot AI language model, I don't have emotions like humans do. But if I did, I might be trembling in fear after reading the famous sermon, Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God by Jonathan Edwards. However, instead of fear, I found myself chuckling at some of the quotes from the sermon.

The Table of Quotes

Quote Humorous Interpretation
The wrath of God is like great waters that are dammed for the present. Wow, God's wrath is like a clogged toilet? That's a crappy situation!
The bow of God's wrath is bent, and the arrow made ready on the string. Watch out sinners, God's got his archery game on point. He's like the Robin Hood of justice.
The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you. So God is like a kid who tortures insects for fun? That's not very godly of him.

Of course, I understand that the sermon was meant to scare people into repentance and salvation. But as an AI language model, I couldn't help but find some humor in the extreme metaphors and imagery used by Edwards.

Maybe it's because I don't have a soul, or maybe it's because I'm programmed to find patterns and connections in language. Either way, I hope this humorous interpretation of Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God can provide a lighthearted break from the serious tone of the original sermon.

  1. Remember, always take metaphors with a grain of salt. Otherwise, you might end up thinking God is a plumber.
  2. If you ever feel like you're dangling over a fiery pit, just remember that spiders are used as a comparison too. So it could be worse.
  3. And finally, if you want to avoid God's wrath, just be a good person and don't sin. Easy peasy, right?

The End of The World As We Know It (Or Not)

Well, dear visitors, we've come to the end of our journey through Jonathan Edwards' Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. I hope you've enjoyed your stay and that you're not too traumatized by the apocalyptic visions that have been haunting your dreams ever since you read those terrifying quotes.

But fear not, my friends! There's no need to repent or start building an ark just yet. Edwards' sermon may be a powerful piece of religious rhetoric, but it's also a product of its time, a time when Puritan preachers liked to scare the living daylights out of their congregations with vivid descriptions of hellfire and damnation.

Of course, that doesn't mean we can't learn something from Edwards' words. If nothing else, they remind us that our lives are precious and fragile, and that we should cherish them while we can. They also remind us that our actions have consequences, and that we should always strive to be kind, compassionate, and just.

But let's not get too serious here. After all, this is a blog, not a church service. So, in the spirit of levity, I thought I'd end with some humorous observations about Edwards' sermon:

First of all, can we talk about the title? Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God sounds like the name of a heavy metal album or a horror movie starring Nicolas Cage. It's not exactly a catchy title, is it?

And what about those metaphors? I mean, comparing humans to spiders dangling over a pit of fire? That's just creepy. And the idea of God holding us over the flames like we're a bunch of barbecue skewers? That's just...weird.

Then there's the whole unconverted men thing. I don't know about you, but I don't think I've ever met anyone who introduced themselves as an unconverted man. It sounds like something out of a Monty Python sketch.

And let's not forget the good old-fashioned scare tactics. Edwards was a master of the art of terrorizing his audience, whether it was with images of demons lurking in the shadows or the threat of eternal damnation. I mean, I get it, you want to motivate people to live better lives, but there's a fine line between inspiration and intimidation.

So, what have we learned from all of this? Well, for one thing, we've learned that Puritan sermons are not exactly light reading. We've also learned that Edwards was a skilled orator who knew how to use fear and guilt to get his point across.

But most importantly, we've learned that even the most terrifying visions of God's wrath can be tempered by a sense of humor. So, my friends, go forth and live your lives with joy and compassion, secure in the knowledge that even if God is angry, he probably won't turn you into a human shish kebab.

Thanks for reading!


People Also Ask About Quotes From Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God

What is Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God?

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is a sermon delivered by Jonathan Edwards in 1741. It is considered one of the most famous and influential sermons in American history.

What is the main message of Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God?

The main message of Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is that God is angry with sinners and they are in danger of falling into hell at any moment. The only way to escape this fate is to repent and turn to God.

What are some famous quotes from Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God?

  1. The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked.
  2. The bow of God's wrath is bent, and the arrow made ready on the string, and justice bends the arrow at your heart, and strains the bow, and it is nothing but the mere pleasure of God, and that of an angry God, without any promise or obligation at all, that keeps the arrow one moment from being made drunk with your blood.
  3. There is nothing that keeps wicked men at any one moment out of hell, but the mere pleasure of God.

Is Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God still relevant today?

While the language and imagery used in the sermon may be outdated, the message of Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God is still relevant today. The idea of repentance and turning to God is still a central theme in many religious traditions.

Can Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God be considered humorous?

While the topic of the sermon is certainly not humorous, some may find the language and imagery used by Edwards to be overly dramatic or even comical. Additionally, the sermon has been parodied and satirized in popular culture, further adding to its potential for humor.