Funny Gangster Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Like a Crime Boss

Looking for a good laugh? Well, you're in luck because we've rounded up some of the funniest gangster quotes out there. These one-liners are sure to have you giggling and shaking your head in disbelief at the same time. From classic mafia movies to modern-day gangster comedies, these quotes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.

First up, we have a quote from the legendary Al Capone himself. You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. This quote perfectly sums up Capone's ruthless approach to business. He knew that sometimes you had to use force to get what you wanted, but he also understood the power of diplomacy.

Next, we have a gem from the classic movie, The Godfather. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. This line, spoken by Marlon Brando's character, Don Vito Corleone, has become one of the most iconic movie quotes of all time. It perfectly captures the essence of the mafia's power and influence.

Of course, no list of funny gangster quotes would be complete without a few from the irreverent comedy, The Sopranos. I wipe my ass with your feelings is a classic line from Tony Soprano that perfectly captures his brash, unapologetic nature. Another great quote from the show is, If you can quote the rules, then you can obey them. This line shows just how absurd and arbitrary the mafia's code of conduct can be.

Moving on to some more recent gangster movies, we have a hilarious quote from The Irishman. It's what it is is a line that has been memed to death since the movie's release, but it's still a great example of how gangsters often use meaningless phrases to sound tough or mysterious.

Another recent gangster movie that's chock-full of great quotes is Goodfellas. Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut is a line that perfectly encapsulates the mafia's code of silence. But of course, the movie also has plenty of funny moments, like when Joe Pesci's character says, Funny how? Like I'm a clown? I amuse you?

Speaking of Joe Pesci, no list of funny gangster quotes would be complete without a few from his other iconic movie, Casino. Listen to me very carefully. There are three ways of doing things around here: the right way, the wrong way, and the way that I do it is a classic Pesci line that perfectly captures his character's arrogance and bravado.

Finally, we have a quote from the modern-day gangster classic, Breaking Bad. I am the one who knocks is a line that perfectly captures Walter White's transformation from mild-mannered chemistry teacher to ruthless drug lord. It's a chilling and hilarious line all at once.

In conclusion, these funny gangster quotes prove that even the most dangerous and ruthless criminals can have a sense of humor. Whether you're a fan of classic mafia movies or modern-day gangster comedies, there's something here for everyone. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a few laughs at the expense of some of the most notorious gangsters in history.

Gangster Quotes with a Funny Twist

Gangsters have always been known for their tough exteriors, no-nonsense attitudes, and their way with words. However, some of these gangsters have uttered hilarious quotes that will leave you in stitches. Here are some of the funniest gangster quotes that will make you laugh out loud.

1. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. - The Godfather

This quote from The Godfather is one of the most iconic lines in movie history. But when you think about it, it's actually quite funny. The idea that someone would make an offer so good that it's impossible to refuse is pretty hilarious. It's like saying, I'm going to give him something so amazing that he'll have no choice but to take it.

2. I'm gonna put a bullet hole in your forehead, and I'm gonna fuck the brain hole. - Pulp Fiction

Okay, this one is definitely not appropriate for all audiences, but it's hard not to laugh at the pure absurdity of it. Only a gangster could come up with such a disturbingly funny line. And the fact that it's delivered by Samuel L. Jackson in his signature style makes it even better.

3. I'm the king of the world! - Scarface

Scarface is one of the most iconic gangster movies of all time, and this line has become just as iconic. There's something hilarious about a small-time criminal who thinks he's the king of the world. It's the ultimate power trip, and it's hard not to laugh at Tony Montana's delusions of grandeur.

4. You talkin' to me? - Taxi Driver

Robert De Niro's portrayal of Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver is legendary, and this line is one of the most memorable from the movie. It's funny because it's such a simple line, but it's delivered with such intensity that it's impossible not to laugh. Plus, the fact that Bickle is talking to himself in the mirror makes it even funnier.

5. I'm gonna make spaghetti out of his intestines. - Goodfellas

Goodfellas is another classic gangster movie, and this quote is both disturbing and hilarious at the same time. The idea that someone would be so violent that they would turn someone's intestines into spaghetti is pretty absurd. But coming from a gangster, it's not all that surprising.

6. Say 'what' again! I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker! - Pulp Fiction

Samuel L. Jackson delivers yet another hilarious line in Pulp Fiction with this one. There's something about the way he says it that makes it so funny. And the fact that he's daring someone to say a word just adds to the absurdity of it all.

7. I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! - Home Alone

Okay, so this one isn't technically from a gangster movie, but it's still a hilarious quote from a movie about a kid who takes on a couple of bumbling burglars. The fact that a kid is delivering this line makes it even funnier. And the fact that the burglars are so incompetent that they can't even catch a kid just adds to the humor.

8. I'm gonna make him an offer he can refuse. - Johnny Dangerously

This quote is a humorous take on The Godfather's iconic line. In Johnny Dangerously, Michael Keaton plays a gangster who butchers all of the famous gangster quotes. This line is just one example of the hilarious quotes he comes up with.

9. I'm gonna buy you a diamond so big it's gonna make you puke. - Bugsy Malone

Bugsy Malone is a gangster movie that's actually a musical, and this line is a perfect example of the movie's quirky humor. The idea that someone would give a gift so extravagant that it would make you physically ill is pretty funny. And the fact that it's delivered in song just adds to the hilarity.

10. Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. - The Godfather

We had to end with another classic from The Godfather. This line is funny because it's such an unexpected thing to say in the middle of a tense situation. And the fact that Paulie is more concerned with the cannoli than the gun just adds to the humor.

These gangster quotes show that even the toughest guys in the room have a sense of humor. Whether it's a funny take on a classic line or just pure absurdity, these quotes will make you laugh out loud.

Funny Gangster Quotes

Gangsters may be known for their tough exterior and criminal activities, but that doesn't mean they can't have a sense of humor. Here are some funny gangster quotes that will make you laugh out loud.

1. I'm not a gangster, I'm just an entrepreneur with a lot of employees who happen to carry guns.

If you ask any gangster, they'll probably tell you they're not actually a gangster. They're just a businessman with a unique set of skills and a loyal team of employees. And sometimes those skills involve carrying guns and making deals that would make Wall Street investors blush.

2. If you come at me with a knife, I'll come at you with my lawyer. He's much scarier.

As much as gangsters like to talk tough, they also know the power of a good lawyer. After all, a well-crafted legal argument can be more intimidating than any weapon. If someone dares to cross a gangster, they better be prepared to face not only physical retaliation but also a potentially lengthy court battle.

3. I don't know about you, but when I ride in a car with tinted windows, I feel like a damn celebrity. Too bad I'm just a gangster.

There's something about riding around in a car with tinted windows that makes a person feel important, even if they're just a lowly gangster. Maybe it's the sense of anonymity or the feeling of being shielded from the outside world. Whatever it is, gangsters know how to enjoy the little luxuries in life.

4. You know you've made it when the only thing standing between you and a life of luxury is a federal indictment.

For gangsters, the road to success is paved with legal troubles. But if they can navigate those obstacles and avoid getting caught, they can enjoy all the trappings of a lavish lifestyle. Of course, there's always the risk of getting caught and spending the rest of their days in a federal prison, but that's just part of the game.

5. When you're a gangster, you learn to appreciate the simple things in life. Like a good bookie and a reliable pair of brass knuckles.

Gangsters may have access to fancy cars and expensive suits, but they also know how to appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Like having a trusted bookie who can set up a profitable gambling operation or a sturdy pair of brass knuckles for when things get rough.

6. I'm not saying I'm tough, but I once took down a guy twice my size with a well-timed poke in the eye. #GangsterMove

Gangsters don't need to rely on brute strength to get the job done. Sometimes all it takes is a well-placed poke in the eye to take down a larger opponent. It may not be the most glamorous move, but it gets the job done.

7. They say crime doesn't pay, but I beg to differ. It's paid for my shiny new Mercedes and this very expensive lawyer.

Despite what the naysayers may claim, crime can be very lucrative for those who know how to work the system. A successful gangster can enjoy all the trappings of wealth and power, including flashy cars and high-priced legal representation. Of course, there's always the risk of getting caught and losing everything, but that's just part of the game.

8. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Unless you're a gangster, then you just call in a hit on the chef.

Gangsters know how to deal with problems head-on, whether it's in the kitchen or on the streets. If someone is causing trouble, a gangster won't hesitate to take action, even if it means calling in a hit on the offending party. It may not be the most ethical solution, but it gets the job done.

9. I always say, if you're going to do something illegal, at least make it worth your while. Like stealing a solid gold toilet or something.

For gangsters, there's no point in doing anything halfway. If they're going to break the law, they might as well go big or go home. That's why stealing a solid gold toilet would be the ultimate heist for any self-respecting gangster.

10. As a gangster, I pride myself on being a man of few words. Unless you owe me money, then I suddenly become quite chatty.

Gangsters aren't known for their verbosity, but they can be very persuasive when they need to be. If someone owes them money, they'll suddenly become very chatty and persuasive, using every trick in the book to get what they're owed. It's just one of the many skills that make a successful gangster.

So there you have it, some funny gangster quotes that show that even criminals can have a sense of humor. Just don't let them catch you laughing at their jokes, or you might find yourself on the wrong side of their brass knuckles.

Funny Gangster Quotes: A Humorous Take on the Mafia World

The world of gangsters and mafia may seem scary and serious, but there is always a funny side to everything. Funny gangster quotes are a perfect example of the lighter side of the mafia world. These quotes are hilarious, witty, and sometimes even relatable. Let's take a look at some of the best funny gangster quotes and why they're so popular.

Why Are Funny Gangster Quotes So Popular?

There's something about the way gangsters talk that makes their quotes so memorable. Maybe it's the accent, or maybe it's the confidence they exude while speaking. Whatever the reason, gangster quotes have become a part of popular culture. And when these quotes are funny, they become even more popular. Here are some reasons why funny gangster quotes are so popular:

They break the stereotype: Gangsters are usually portrayed as serious and intimidating. Funny gangster quotes break this stereotype and show a different side of the mafia world.
They're relatable: Some of the things gangsters say can be surprisingly relatable. For instance, who hasn't felt like saying I'll make him an offer he can't refuse at least once in their life?
They're memorable: Funny gangster quotes are often witty and clever. This makes them easy to remember and quote in everyday conversation.

The Best Funny Gangster Quotes

Now that we know why funny gangster quotes are so popular, let's take a look at some of the best ones:

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. - The Godfather
Say hello to my little friend! - Scarface
I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? - Goodfellas
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. - The Godfather: Part III
I never rat on my friends. And I always keep my mouth shut. - Goodfellas

These quotes are just a few examples of the many hilarious things gangsters have said over the years. They show that even in the mafia world, there is room for humor and wit.

In Conclusion

Funny gangster quotes may seem like a small part of the larger mafia world, but they have become an important part of popular culture. They break stereotypes, are relatable, and are easy to remember. So the next time you're in need of a good laugh, turn to these hilarious quotes from some of the most infamous gangsters in history.

Keywords	Definition
Gangsters	Members of a criminal organization, typically involved in organized crime such as extortion and drug trafficking
Mafia	A type of organized crime syndicate that originated in Italy and has since spread to other parts of the world
Funny gangster quotes	Hilarious, witty, and sometimes relatable quotes spoken by gangsters or characters in gangster movies
Popular culture	The cultural activities and products that are popular among the general population, such as music, movies, and television shows

Farewell, Funny Gangster Quote Lovers!

Well, folks, it's time for me to wrap up my humorous take on some of the most hilarious gangster quotes out there. I hope you've enjoyed reading them as much as I've enjoyed writing them! Before I bid you adieu, let's take a quick look back at some of my personal favorites:

First up, we have the classic line from Tony Montana in Scarface: Say hello to my little friend! This one never fails to get a laugh, and it's become an iconic quote in pop culture.

Next, we have a gem from The Godfather, when Vito Corleone utters the famous line: I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. It's a threatening yet somehow charming quote that perfectly encapsulates the world of the mafia.

And who could forget this one from Goodfellas? Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut. It's a bit of advice that sounds both sinister and sage-like at the same time.

But those are just a few of the many funny gangster quotes that exist in the world. Whether you're a fan of classic mob movies or modern-day gangster flicks, there's sure to be a witty one-liner out there that tickles your funny bone.

Of course, it's worth noting that while these quotes may be hilarious, they often come from characters who are engaging in some pretty unsavory activities. We certainly don't condone violence or criminal behavior in real life, and we hope that you'll always use good judgment and common sense in your own actions.

That said, there's no harm in indulging in a little bit of humor every now and then. After all, laughter is the best medicine!

So, as I prepare to sign off, I want to thank you all for stopping by and checking out my take on some of the funniest gangster quotes around. I hope you've had a chuckle or two along the way, and that you'll continue to seek out the lighter side of life whenever possible.

Until next time, keep smiling, stay safe, and always remember to never rat on your friends!